Things I Learned From Watching ESPN

(This is was in the ledge today, for those of you who don't get the Daily Iowan, I thought I'd post it here for all to see)

Momentum is the single most powerful force in the game of football, if you have the momentum there is nothing the other team can do to stop you, except shift the momentum in their favor, which is apparently very easy.

According to the ESPN Deportes updates, Spanish-speaking people will understand English as long as you talk in a Spanish accent.

Brett Favre is good because he’s having fun and smiling and having fun. He’s also old but he’s acting young because he’s having fun. He’s also having fun.

Holiday puns must be repeated ad nauseam. Every sports victory within two days of Thanksgiving will be referred to as a “feast”.

Competitive eating is now considered a sport on par with poker, dominos, bowling, and golf.

Football commentators don’t understand how gears work. If you go from first to fifth, you’re not going to speed up very fast.

I’ll never understand a single word Lou Holtz says.

It might have stopped play for 30 minutes and the ball was only moved one yard, but the important thing is that they got the call right.

The SEC is the best conference in football, that’s why there are so many in-conference upsets.

The Big Ten is the worst major conference in football, that’s why there are so many in-conference upsets.

Polls are pointless in the pre-season and first few weeks… now here’s the 2008 pre-season football poll…

You don’t have to be incredibly annoying to work for ESPN, but it sure helps.

Matt Gorman is glad the Hawkeyes won’t have a second straight losing season. 6-6, wooo!